Fascinating Way How Love Protects You From Self Sabotage

By now, you should understand how attractive the fear-desire cycle is and the two very appealing illusions that self-sabotage makes us fall for... If you don't, please go through Part I and Part II before continuing.

The way to overcome self sabotage

The first one: we choose to allow and even feed fear inside us when we experience moments of doubt because fear makes us believe that by having it we are inspired to act to defend what we desire.

The second one: we choose to feed doubt and turn it into a monster in our minds so that we get the chance of experiencing the comforting/relieving feelings provided by desire and also the chance to experience overwhelming euphoria and joy if the desire is fulfilled.

However, what really happens is: we attack what we desire and break up the continuation of peace of mind.

If you are not familiar with the above, please follow the sequence of this series before continuing in this final part.

Now that you've come this far, let's get into the "final" part: deconstruction

So, the most simple question that might come to mind now is: is it possible to desire without feeding doubt and consequently generating fear of the undesired?

The answer is: yes, it is!

Although it's impossible to get rid of doubt, we can choose what we give to it. Think of doubt as a hungry entity without preference about what it consumes. It needs you to feed it, and as it's almost always present it needs constant feeding, weather we want it or not.

So far we've been talking about feeding doubt with the fear-desire cycle which makes us self-sabotage, but now we can deconstruct this pathway. Let's start by thinking about what counteracts fear and desire.

What counteracts desire? Indifference, since it is the opposite of desire!
What counteracts fear? Courage, since it is the opposite of fear!

Now, if we feed doubt with indifference, we could be able to deconstruct the fear-desire cycle, after all if there's indifference there's nothing to fear and no desire to protect. However, such pathway would lead us to a life of constant emptiness, which is not what we really want.

On the other hand, if we feed doubt with courage, we could be able to deconstruct the fear-desire cycle but without losing the desire part.

How is that?

Before answering this question, we should understand that there are two kinds of desire, one that is invested with a lot of emotions, thus capable of generating fear, and another that is detached from an enormous amount of emotion.

Maybe you are thinking that investing emotions in desiring makes life much more exciting, but such "excitement" leads to the breaking of the continuation of peace of mind, remember? Self-sabotage doesn't have its name out of nothing, it is appealing which is why we engage in it but destructive which is why we sabotage ourselves.

The common emotions fueled during the act of desiring are anxiety and worry, and both intensify doubt, and what happens when we turn doubt into a monster in our minds? Yes, we engage in the fear-desire cycle. Therefore, the level of desiring determines the level of doubting and thus if the fear-desire cycle occurs or not.

So, in order to deconstruct the fear-desire cycle and be free from self-sabotage, we should desire without the attachment of lots of emotions, how is that possible?

We already talked about how indifference wouldn't be a healthy way of deconstructing the fear-desire cycle, and that courage is the way, but courage about what? What is there to be courageous about?

First, we need to recognize that courage is capable of making us do incredible things we never thought possible, why? Because when our actions are driven by courage it is because we are defending something or someone we love.

Therefore, courage acts to preserve what is loved!

So in our case, courage preserves our desires without making us fall into the fear-desire cycle by protecting them (desires) from too much emotion. Do you understand now why it is necessary to be courageous? It is because it takes a lot of courage to act against feeding doubt and generating fear of what is undesired, because there is an unconscious idea that if we truly want something or want to have a better chance of achieving it, we must invest emotions in the act of desiring, thus making us feel that not investing emotions is like neglecting what we desire. However, desiring simply because what we desire brings us wellness and not because we fear the undesired, is actually working to preserve what is desired and the chances of achieving what is desired.

Two questions now arise:

Does continuing fantasizing the best through desire work the same as continuing fantasizing the worst through fear?

And

How can we know if we are investing too much emotion in our desires?

The answer to both questions cannot be separated, they are interconnected: when we continuously fantasize, regardless if it is generated by fear or desire, there is an enormous amount of emotion invested in the process of fantasizing. Thefore, the more we fantasize the more emotions are invested.

So, we have two different paths that lead to the same outcome: we can initially increase the frequency of fantasizing the best through desire, which in turn intensifies doubt (due to the stimulation of our Will to know of what is ahead or not perceived). Consequently, since doubt is both cause and effect of believing in two or more possibilities, fear of the bad possibilities increase and hence we fall into the fear-desire cycle. On the other hand, we can initiate by increasing fear of what is undesired, which makes us automatically counteract what is undesired by defending what is desired through either desiring associated with fantasizing the best or simply being opposed to the fantasies created by fear. Thus, being opposed to fantasies associated with fear not always mean fantasizing what is desired, the simple act of being bothered/disturbed express the desire part acting to defend what is desired.

So, fear acts as an attack upon what is desired but since it causes us to make defensive moves, it makes us believe that it (fear) serves us well and is our ally, when the truth is: the only reason we engage in defending what we desire is because we attack our desires (by fearing what is undesired) in the first place.

So, where does courage come in all this? Courage acts precisely in stopping us from investing too much emotion in what we desire by stopping us from fantasizing too much about it.

If we want something, it is impossible not to think about it, at least one or two times. Thus, no paranoia about stopping a thought related to what we want should be created in our minds. What we should do instead is: protect our desires by not allowing fantasizing, thus not intensifying doubt and falling into the fear-desire cycle. Therefore, maintaining the desire but without the fear of the undesired, and that is possible by acting based on love, by loving what you want (that brings wellness to you and/or to others) you put your desires in a transcendent state, which does not cause you to attack it through fear only to have the illusion that "defending it through lots of emotional energy brings you an advantage."

So love acts as a guardian, it does not associate with any "maybe" or "but" or "if", it acts to preserve, and in order to preserve it must not allow anything that causes degradation like self-sabotage through the fear-desire cycle.

Once again, self-sabotage is appealing, so somewhere in your subconscious or conscious self, there might be opposition to stopping the investment of a lot of emotion and continuous fantasizing, but what you should ask yourself is: if investing emotions and continuously fantasizing make me sabotage my performance and reaction towards situations (besides creating sometimes long periods of mental and emotional suffering way before events happen or way before we get to know about a particular situation), are they worth having? Or is it better to preserve my desires and my performance and attitudes that can interfere either in achieving such desires or responding to the outcome of events associated with those desires?

Although we cannot interfere in some situations which a desire of ours might be associated with, those situations interfere with us, causing an unbalance in us that is reflected on the outside, turning bright days into grey ones. In this case, once again, love is the way!

If you're still confused or isn't quite believing in all these messages I bring you, read again, reflect about them, look into yourself and situations from your past and present, and apply love as mentioned above so that you can deconstruct self-sabotage, then analyze yourself, notice the changes, notice the brightness you created within yourself, cherish it and protect it with Knowledge!

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