Victim Mentality - How To Recognize And Remove It From Your Life

There is a type of behaviour and mental-emotional state we have that keeps us in a constant state of codependency from others, and normally we avoid looking at it or even recognizing its existence... Its name is self victimization.

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There is no doubt of the tremendous effects that life circumstances have upon us, effects which sometimes can only be perceived a long time afterwards...

But even though they get immune from our perception, at least temporarily, there is a very important element which links directly to them and is completely perceivable and yet gives us a hard time realizing and accepting it. I am talking about self-victimization.

First of all, it is hard to realize it exists because it bounds so intimately to life disappointments and traumatic experiences, that it generates a continuous reason to feel bad (weather it involves sadness, anger, anxiety or else) with situations from the present and future, some alike the ones that caused us the traumas and disappointments and some completely different.

Such situations bring us reasons but more than that, they bring back the negative charge that was generated in the past and such charge keeps on building itself in the name of reason/motive, which is wore like a mask so we do not notice the harm we do to ourselves by self-victimization is way worse than the actual situations that occur.

To accept it exists is far from easy, because although we want to overcome what haunt us, we strongly hold on the haunting because it creates a sense of deserving justice/revenge and such sense makes us thirsty for them, while also making us more sensitive, weak and susceptible to more emotional disturbance.

Therefore, our present reactions concerning certain situations, our current way of feeling bad when confronting certain circumstances, our bad habits, lack of confidence and hope and so on, might have roots in the past, in particular events that happened and had the impact of changing us during the moment they happened and continue changing us because self-victimization wires us to them.

To understand all this, means we are a step closer towards recovery.

There are countless horrible and traumatic situations, both emotional and physical, which none can be measured and which only the hearts that go through them understand completely what it feels like and each heart is different in acting, reacting and perceiving but nevertheless, self-victimization is undependable on who we are and what generated it in the first place.

The key to its success might lie on the fact that hearing about it from someone towards us or having the thought that we do self-victimization causes us anger because it instantaneously connects us to that negative baggage that kept getting heavier with time. Remember!!! That this baggage presents itself as reasons/motives and that's how self-victimization persuades us, camouflaging and generating a false feeling of self-protection.

But why is it false?

It is false because instead of helping us overcome, it draws us closer and deeper into what hurt us, because it feeds the idea that we have the right to feel we have been deceived, abused and hurt. While it is true we have such right, it never lets us let go of the hurting because it makes us await for some kind of retribution towards others or consolation prize towards ourselves.

While we spend life on this endless waiting, we ignore the fact that we do not overcome past situations because we do not have enough strength but because we choose not to overcome.

We do not make such choice consciously at first but as soon as we realize and accept that self-victimization exists in us (if it does), we are conscious and from then on, our choices are not a product of persuasion by something but are our own.

I hope by now, you have understood how dangerous and persuasive self-victimization is and that you are ready to break free from it and overcome what still haunts you.

Accepting it, does not conflict with the power that past situations had to hurt us and how unjust they were. It simply allows us to see that the reasons the situations bring at particular moments might be smaller than what is continuously being generated within (even though the situations ceased existing) afterwards.

Self-victimization can be perceived explicitly when we begin feeling bad when hearing about something or someone, when thinking about the past bad situations, when going through something that resembles something that happened before or that makes us connect both situations even if they have nothing in common

Or

It can be perceived in small details, when we silently deny that any of our attitudes, bad habits and emotional instability has root in particular events from the past, when we put the problems others make us go through above the problems we generate for ourselves and so on...

All of the above mean we have not entirely overcome the past. If you are familiar with anything that's been described, do not despair and fall into self-victimizations ultimate weapon, fear.
When our eyes are finally open, it (self-victimization) induces fear upon us, to force us to choose the easiest way, the way of denial. It does so because when we are afraid, we do not realize the fear of our enemy and self-victimization is our enemy.

Once you break free from it, you will start to notice your strength, strength that was repressed by the thirsty for justice/revenge/retribution/consolation prize that self-victimization causes.

No matter how great and hurtful the experiences you have encountered, once you stop generating difficulties for yourself, you begin to have a clear vision of the power of what haunts you and the power you have.

And understand that it only has power over you as long as you do not reclaim what is imprisoned within yourself, the will to live a more peaceful and happy life! Which is lost throughout time.

Such will is obscured by self-victimization that wants nothing more than to keep you in a vicious cycle of waiting, denial and fear. This way, you do not use what you have, the strength capable of turning any victim into a warrior, into a winner.

Look within yourself and understand yourself and how your past affects you !!!

Know your enemies and be a warrior!
Know your strength and be a winner!

Emerge from the abyss of self-victimization.

You can!

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